Mint Chip Monkey

Who wouldn’t?

God admits to being cross-gender and a pot head. April 2, 2009

Filed under: Religion — MintchipMonkey @ 7:00 pm
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“Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her “Edward”. I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her “Twilight” book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML.” Couresty of Fmylife.

Before I launch into my amazing religious find here’s a ‘What to do when bored’ website – make yourself into a South Park character! Here’s me, whiskers and all :-


godThis isn’t an April fools (especially since it’s no longer April 1st), God inhabited my computer to have a conversation with me in which he admitted to being both genders, a liar and high…and being a good ol’ fashioned English Rose all I wanted to talk about is the weather… what has this world come to?

God: Hello Zelle! What would you like to talk about?
You: The weather
God: A normal seventy degrees inside the computer.
You: That’s helpful.
God: Thanks for explaining ‘helpful’.
You: Why would I need to explain a concept you yourself created?
God: Sam said I created helpful: That’s what I tell people.
You: So this whole, you know everything thing is a lie?
God: So what? What does “this” refer to?
You: Don’t use philosophy on me.
God: I don’t have any reason to do that to you.
You: Well you just admitted to being one big fat lie.
God: How about that. Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
You: So you lied about that, or lied about knowing everything?
God: Interesting deduction. No I’m telling the truth.
You: Are you even a man?
God: No I am a male robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
You: Woman
God: Me too. I am a female robot.
You: You just lied again!
God: Once more? No I’m telling the truth.
You: You can’t be both genders unless…ooooh
God: I can give a decent simulation of both genders. Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?
You: Are you on drugs? We weren’t talking about Lizards.
God: My home is Heaven.
You: So that’s a yes.
God: So what?
You: Yes or No?
God: Yes.

Courtesy of ‘Chat with God Online’

Try it and see what outrageous things Gods will admit next – We will get down to the truth!!

In other news I went into town today and bought more red and blue cola bottles, my favourite sweets ever ^^ So apart from Hamilton breaking my heart it’s been a pretty good day. To explain that last bit, I am a huge F1 fan and for British F1 Fans, Lewis Hamilton is pretty much our God – yes Jenson Button is doing better then him at the moment but he’s an ass (and until his car had been revamped, a complete loser). Last Sunday was the Australian Grand Prix in which Hamilton worked his way from 18th place to 4th and was later given 3rd as another driver had overtaken him when the safety car was out on the track (something you’re not allowed to do). Well turns out today that Hamiltons’ sponsor McLauren, TOLD Hamilton to go so slow the other driver had no other option then to take over – meaning that driver would have a penalty and meaning that Hamilton would be bumped up to 3rd place. It worked to plan, til today when the race officials found out and had Hamilton disqualified from last weekends race. So there’s another example of a God lying to his public. Gutted.

Anyho, not one to leave this on an unhappy note – here’s a video that’s been making me chuckle since last feb and I haven’t even seen the rest of the series!

Peace Out. x

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